How to discipline your child?

Disciplined children are more likely to deal with the life in the most matured way. Discipline is not a specific behavior; but all behavioral patterns balanced in the most acceptable way to comply with the socio-cultural demands. Discipline is the result of deliberate training provided by parents at home. Let us see the most preferred methods of disciplining kids.

Parental tips for disciplining children

kids learn from observation and explanation. They are curious at what all see in the world, including the ways people act and react. By nature, children at in the most spontaneous way, like, they cry when they are sad; they shout when they feel to do so; they sleep when they are dozy. They, in fact, do not bother of the outer world and above all ignorant of the rules and regulations of the world. Parents and teachers can teach them accepted behavioral manners by showing it them. Let us see the effective techniques to teach children self control and responsibility.

1. Parents or teachers have to be very cautious when they apply character formation techniques on children as a wrong implication may backfire with unwanted results. Before ever attempting to discipline your child, learn them thoroughly and understand the mind of them. Understanding your child may help you to speculate the possible ways of behavior patterns that can be expected from a child. Discipline with love is what works, not discipline with punishment.
2. Clear statements communicate effectively with kids than suggestions. Suggestions may be taken lightly as immature kids may not ponder over the importance of abiding by disciplined manners. Clearly tell that what the parents and society expects from them. And also teach them how to fulfill these expectations. Rewards have greater effects on children. Reward kids for every desirable act. Never ever take negative behavior very lightly as kids may mistake them as accepted or at least tolerated.
3. Make them aware of the consequences of bad behavior. Just stating your dislike or asking them not to do in certain ways may not convince them of the consequences of negative acts. Tell them all the possible consequences of bad behavior and ask them to withdraw from them. This will help the child to not to repeat same acts in future. If you feel your kids react in negative ways at certain situations, then keep them away from such places and situations.
4. Disciplining is not a one-time job or one-day task. Consistent effort is required to mend the ways of kids and make them act in the most acceptable ways. Many parents do the fatal mistake of beginning the disciplining techniques with punishments. Punishments are not at all parts of child disciplining. If required, they can be used as just a supplement to other techniques. Psychologists say that punishments, many times, help to make kids rebels and also will destroy the entire purpose of training. Let your children learn from the love and care you show to them, not from the sticks that you hold.

A SHARING LOVE STORY EVERY ANNIVERSERY

I met Sharon at church in September 1962, when she was 12 and I was 17. I didn’t ask her out until April 22, 1965, when she was 14 and a half and I was 18. Our date started at church, and afterward we went to the McDonald’s in Granite City to share some french fries. Since this was before ketchup packets and dispensers, we purchased a dunk cup for 3 cents. We sat, talked, and fed each other french fries.

I joined the Air Force in October 1965, and we started writing letters. She was still a baby in my mind. It wasn’t until I came home in December 1966 that I realized that that baby had grown up and matured into the woman I wanted to marry. Letters and feelings of love blossomed, and we were engaged in 1967.

On April 22, 2016, like every year before it, you’ll find us at McDonald’s with our traditional order of french fries. We now bring a small bowl from home that resembles our original dunk cup. Sharon and I still feed each other french fries as we talk of all the happenings of bygone years. We will have been married 47 years this coming September. I’m soon to be 70, and my wife is soon to be 65 years young.

How to Communicate with Children

Communicating with children is a skillful art. Kids just do not speak through the mouth. They use the entire body to communicate and convey. Gestures, body movements, look, cry... everything and everything tell you something. No one understands the children as effectively as parents. The great difficulty in communication with kids is that they lack a proper language. They are at the early stages of understanding and reproducing language based communicative sound and symbols.

What all kids use is gestures and imitations of parents communication. If you want to communicate properly with kids, understanding their minds is essential. Without communicating with kids, parents cannot train them, teach them or guide them. Childhood is vital period of grooming and disciplining. Thus conveying the feelings in the most perfect way to make kids understand is important. Communication also helps developing the emotional attachment between kids and parents.

Communication with children starts from listening to them. Kids are to be the starters. Let parents attentively listen and observe how children behave and convey things. Careful listing and observation help parents to understand how children convey their feelings and what gesture or action for each of the emotions.

• Knowing the kids expressions will help parents to learn what the kids want to say to them. Once you get the right path with kids, then interfere into their communication and integrate purified forms of language and gestures into their communication styles. Teach them words that stand for objects. When you feed them food, tell the word food or the name of the specific item you give them, this way children may learn the association between the object and the sound. Later they will pronounce the word to refer to the particular food item. This is the way of conditioning their language skills.

• Many parents communicate with children through punishments. When kids cry, they take out a stick or show a gesture of punishments to scare kids. Each parent has to know that punishment is the most destructive method of disciplining a child. Punishment means blame, shame and humiliation to children. Of course a punishment or gesture of possible punishment will communicate with the children and they may obey what parents say, but it is a negative way of conditioning the behavior of kids. You may succeed in creating very silent and obedient kids with punishment, but lack of self esteem, communication disabilities, depression etc., are the expected in the future life.
• Minor punishments are necessary to discipline certain kids, but when punishing the children, it is not to express the anger of the parents but to convey to the children the necessity of being good and well-mannered.
• Use proper language when talking to children. Kids learn everything easily in the childhood as they are born with a blank mind. What all parents teach at infancy can become integrated element of child's behavior. Thus, teaching proper language and communication is essential. Using proper language doesn't mean using the same language used between adults. But use the designated words for objects and teach kids the right words for basic human actions like walk, eat, sleep etc.
• Train kids to use the words for each of their requirements. If you talk to them in clear language, they will learn to respond back clearly. Talk to them with examples. If you want them to pick an apple and bring to you, show them an apple and ask them to bring an apple. Same way, if you want to tell them that his/her room is messy, point out on the objects that are scatters around and show them how to clan the room. Next time when you want them to bring and apple or want them to clean their rooms, you need to show them again, but just tell them verbally.
• Never avoid any of the questions from your children. Being highly curios at what all they see, children tend to ask questions all the time. However silly, the questions they ask, answer them properly. Avoiding them without attending their questions will make them not ask or talk to the parents. Encourage children whenever they talk, and include them in family talks. Constructive criticism and generous praise is suggested for children. Never talk bad about children to a third person in the presence of children. This will create adverse results. Never interrupt kids when they communicate or say something.
• Find time to spend with children and listen to them and talk to them. Kids love listeners than talkies. Listening to them will help to develop the verbal skill of children and also to excel in academic levels later in life.

Ways of Fostering the Affection in Family

Affection and love in the family is quite nature and must to have elements to promote the harmony and positive growth of the family. It is the deep affection that makes parents inclined to the sacrifices of growing up kids, perform household activities and meet the financial requirements. If the affection factor is absent no one would have lived complicatedly for the family.

The affection obligates parents to take pain of looking after the kids and similarly, kids to love and obey the parents. Constantly nurturing the affection in the family is essential to keep the bond of love between the members of the family strong. It is the unmatched affection that creates the belongingness in the family life.

The affection expressed within the family is not benevolence but a commitment. Verbal expressions of affection, quality time spend with the family, gifts, mutual services, affectionate touch etc... are the most advised modes of nurturing the affection in the family between the family members.

Expression of Affection

Lavish expression of affection is the best way of fostering it. Verbal expression, physical expression etc., helps the affection to be conveyed to others and also to encourage other members of the family to follow the same. Verbal expression of affection means telling others how you feel about them and how much you love them. Anything said to make them feel loved, or validated can be called the verbal expression of affection.

Appreciating, concealing and complimenting helps others understand the depth of concern you feel for them. Apart from the verbal expression of love, there are certain physical expressions too, to foster the affection between the family members. Hugging them, kissing them etc., are common physical expressions of love and affection.

Spending Time Together

Spending quality time together is an obvious method of nurturing the affection among the members of the family. Such occasions are opportunity for every member to know each other, listen to each other and share with them and care for them.

Involving in any family activity with an objective of nurturing the relationship and developing the affection may be helpful to bind the people together in love. Eating together, outdoor games and walks, storytelling, gardening etc., are examples of family activity. Quality time means spending the time effectively so that it will help others feel more affectionate and attached.

Mutual Services

Helping each one in family unconditionally is a way of increasing the affection between the members of the family. Helping the kids in study or helping wife in kitchen can arouse a feeling of love. If you want your family to be remained most attached always, then do not miss any opportunity to help them. Even trivial services like helping a child to fasten the lace of the shoes may foster the attachment element.

Many people commit the mistake of helping the family members with certain conditions like 'if you do that to me, then I will help you with this'. This is the wrong way of dealing and behaving with the members of the family. Let the help be unconditional, if you really wish to gain the love and respect of them.

Affectionate Touch

Experts say that an affectionate touch nurtures love and attachment among the family members. Physical touch is always positive and it helps transferring the emotion and feelings between the family members. Physical touch, here, doesn't refer to a sexual overtone. When it comes to the aspect of touch between the spouses, sexual touch is essential, but between parents and kids or between siblings the physical touch means a hug, kiss, or just a patting.

Actions like hug, kiss, patting, shake hand etc., directly convey how you feel for them and care them. They are well appreciated ways of expressing affection, especially in the family. Kids get great encouragement and confidence from a proper physical touch of affection. It also conveys a nearness of the dear ones and availability of them in need.

Effective communication within the family

Communication is not the mere verbal exchange of information in the families. It is the expression of respect, affection and concern. Communication doesn't refers to the verbal alone in the family, but physical expressions, gestures and even an affectionate look can be communicative in the family.

It is through the communication the members of the family express their requirements, love, desires, advises etc., to each other person in the family. Family communication is very much different from that with formal communication. Experts say that there are four styles of family communication. Clear and direct communication, clear and indirect communication, masked and direct communication and masked and indirect communication.

Each of these styles has benefits and disadvantages; thus, it is the communicator who has to decide which style to be used according the situations. Whatever are the styles of communication and modes of it, people agree in a point that communication is the essential instrument or bonding factor in the family life.

There are many practical tips to make the communication between the family members more effective. Let us see some of them.

The focus is preference, not principles

Family is the place where no strict or inflexible rules are applicable and principles always remain subordinates to preferences. Focusing on the preferences simply means to give more importance to the personal likes and methods than rules and regulations. For example, you can't just implement a rule that everyone should be silent after 10 at night. It may be the only convenient time for one of the family members to communicate with others.

Be flexible in communication. It is not what others follow that is to be considered the standard in your communication in the family. There are no right time, right way and right place for communication in the family. Implicating principles for communication will make the process completely official and people may feel it mechanical, rather affectionate.

Be positive

Negative and sarcastic communication will destroy the warmth of family talking. Do not over criticize or approach everything in negative way. Certain people cling to sarcasm when they talk to others, especially with family members. This will destroy the mood of talks and others may withdraw themselves deliberately from the family communications.

You can be corrective but even then try to be positive maximum possible. Positive communication is much influencing and effective than criticisms. Creative criticism is helpful in family but always define limits to criticism. Let the communication be appreciating, encouraging, supporting and soothing.

Exaggeration is unaccepted

Many people tend to exaggerate too much when they express their emotions or feelings in the family. Exaggeration is used as a mode of easing the mental tension, but may destroy the family harmony. When you talk or express the feelings be lavish only to the limit of the tolerance of others. Frequent exaggerated talks may make others bored and distrusted in your words and actions.

Let it be more than just verbal

Let the communication in the family be more than just a verbal expression. Even the presence of other family members can communicate a lot. The presence of parents conveys the messages of safety, love and concern to the kids. Similarly, the presence of spouse communicates the feeling of warmth. Use gestures of affection lavishly in the communication. Even when you scold or correct a child or spouse, hold them and talk to them in the most pleasing manner may help the messages to be accepted in the desired manner. A kiss, a hug, an appreciation, a thumps up gesture, everything can tell more than words can do.

Be clear, be gentle and be precise

Being clear, gentle and precise is the rule applicable to any communication; so is to family communication. Do not leave blanks for others to assume or interpret in family communication. If you want to say something to the children or spouse, make your point clear in the most pleasing way. Do not beat around the bush and make others unknown of the messages you intended to pass. Being calm and gentle when you communicate is helpful to invite the attention and action of others. Angry expressions or thoughtless words may be taken lightly, also may not yield the expected reaction.

Be frequent in communication

Communication should not be like a timetabled ritual at home. Find opportunity to talk to other members at home every day and every time. Frequent and casual communication not only helps you to express your feelings exactly, but also encourages others to talk. Mutual communication helps people to grow in affectionate relationship with each other.

Tips on making your family a happy family

Families are the essential building blocks of any society and happy families make a happy society. Everyone wants to live in a happy family as family is the place where human beings find the accomplishment of life. Modern families often face multiple relationship issues which have emerged as contribution of the changed lifestyle and les intense relationships.

Living in a happy family is important to mould each and every human being into responsible social beings. Home and families are places where kids and elders live with a feeling of security and also places of sharing, love, care and concern. Mutual understanding, adjustments and love creates the unbreakable bond between family members and if taken care of certain aspects, any family can be made a happy family.

Making a happy family is no magic as it requires just an extra strained nerve, to nurture love, to facilitate communication and to make each feel contented and secure. Let us see few of the inevitable building blocks that make a happy family.

Be There for Each One in the Family

Presence or availability is the most essential bonding factor that enhances the family relationship. Parents should be available for kids in each of their needs and similarly the couples each other. It should be with the family that each of the family members spends most of their time. Never take the work stress or other unwanted tensions home. As you step into the home, the prior concern should be home only.

Find time to talk to each of the members and arrange activities for the entire family to take part. Family prayers, cooking, watching television, outing etc., are perfect family activities to make a happy family. Family should not be considered a place to just rest after the work and eat the food.

Express the Affection and Warmth

Many people say that they love the family and when it comes to the action they remain unexpressive and quite. Family is the place one learns the basics of love, affection, warmth, encouragement and sharing. Express your affection and attachment towards other members in family with gestures, action and words. Telling just the three words 'I love you' makes others understand the depth of your concern for them.

Do not miss an opportunity to be affectionate with the spouse and kids. Let the entire family move on experiencing a warmth feeling. Unexpressed love is equal to no love at all. Encouragement is another important aspect that boosts the happiness and affection in the family. Be lavish enough to encourage the family members in all their attempts and even for the minute successes.

Communicate Frequently and Effectively

Communication is the key to build a jovial family. Be positive in your communication within the family and truly, the positive communication is the language of love. Talk to each other in the family frequently and designating family together times every day is helpful to this purpose. Even between the spouses, talking eases the tensions and promotes the attachment. Never argue or shout at each other unnecessarily. Family should be a place everyone wants to be with always.

Rituals of affection and honor

Experts say that family rituals are mandatory to maintain the relationships. There are specific practicable family rituals same as religious or national. Weekly outdoor dinners, monthly pleasure trips, family songs, visiting relatives, family cooking day etc., are some of the family rituals that are helpful to bind the entire family with the strings of affection. Such activities are also called rituals of honor as they help each of the family members to understand each other and learn to honor them.

Fights, Blames and Anger are Destructive

Parents should be cautious to not fight before the children and blame each other for mistakes. Horrifying expressions of anger is also equally destructive. When one of the family members makes the entire family life worse with such negative expressions, others may feel family as a disliked place to be. When parents fight before the kids, they are, in fact, teaching the kids with a wrong lesson of communication. Children of fighting parents may become rebels and antisocial in the future life.

Equality is the Best Quality

Considering each of the family members equal and not being partial to anyone is the best qualities a family member can posses. When everybody in the family is considered equal it boosts the confidence, security feeling and affection. Accept the opinions of everyone in the family when family related decision are taken and facilitate mutual respect among family members if you wish to convert your family into a happy family.

Secrets to happy Relationship

Relationships like marriage, romance, live together or any of similar kinds can be sustained with a happy note if some of the secret rules are followed. Relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

Many of these, so called, rules are based on the life experience of many happy couple and also the observation of people. When two people get into relationships, many of them wish for lasting relationships. But pathetically, a good number of them go apart after a while, in search of new partners. Let us see the secrets that constitute long lasting relationships or ever remaining relationships.

Breakup and Divorce are not the Solution

When asked about the best possible way of resolving the issues in relationships or marriage, many people may comment that breakup or a divorce is the best possible method of putting an end to all the troubles in a relationships. It is the biggest mistake people commit.

The reason for increased divorce rate is analyzed as the mentality of people who even before getting into a relationship think divorce as means of solving possible issues in it. Divorce is never an option but it's the utmost decision to be taken in life only at an inevitable situation. Do not even think about a breakup or marriage whenever you confront with minor issues in relationships. Issues are just byproducts of the happiness experienced in the relationships.

No Perfect Relationships, but Perfect Situations

No one can be considered in a perfect relationship, how happy the couple is, as happiness in a relationship is just the happiness of the situations created by the partners. No relationship, as a whole, is destined to be jovial and satisfying. There can be moments of happiness and moments of struggles.

The couple who learns the secrets of balancing both happiness and struggles wins the life and enjoys the best possible relationship and life. When in tension or issues, many people may think that they are fated to fall in to wrong relationship, and at the same time ignore the possible chances of making each moments in life happy by understanding the partner a bit more and adjusting a bit more.

Never be Afraid or Make Him/Her Afraid

Another secret of happy relationship lies in being open and frank with the partner. Do not feel afraid to express you mind to the partner and never ever make him/her afraid of you to tell out the mind. When people communicate each other many of the issues can be melted down. An issue, how ignorable it is, when kept in mind for several days, can take forms of anger, frustration, dislike etc., and get expressed in the most undesirable manners. Let the communication between the partners be a frequent element and no one should hold the words when he/she really wants to talk.

Love Defined is Respect and Care

You can just tell that you love your partner but can never express the love as it is. There is no emotion like love, but it comes as a package which includes, respect, care, share, dedication, forgiveness etc., express the emotions whenever possible to make the other person feel the intensity of your love. Do not be a miser in loving the partner and let your love be unconditional. It is rightly said that love is defined as respect and care. When the partner feels that you do not care for him/her or do not give him/her the due respect, the person may think of an alternative to you.

Always Support Each Other

Never ever leave your partner unsupported. Whatever be the opinions and ideas, know that you are the only one he/she can lean for support. When both of you are alone, you can argue among yourself on points you disagree with the other one, but in public both of you have only one mind. Holding the hands, especially when he/she is sad or broken, is helpful to convey you care for the person. Once you have decided to live together, then no questions of separation may arise, even in the opinions.

When Money Gets in the Way of Love

Love is a naturally free-flowing expression of deep affection - as long as you keep money out of it. You know how hard it is to keep love alive. All of those steps and starts of a relationship are crazy making. When you add money issues, smooth seas can whip into an angry tsunami. Which begs the question: When money gets in the way of love, what can you do about it?

When problems first arise, you must ask, "What is my relationship to money?" Money can carry a lot of meaning for most people and it tends to be an edgy subject. Not having enough creates worries. For some people, having too much is worse. What does money mean to you?

You know that money can't buy love. It's merely a tool for trading. Your hard work will earn a paycheck to put a warm roof over your head. Money is an important aspect of our lives, one we must honor with a healthy balance between need and desire. Money has a place in our pocket but not in our hearts.

In "A Moveable Feast," one of the world's great romantic novels, Ernest Hemingway writes of a struggling writer and his young wife living in Paris in the Twenties. They are madly in love and horribly broke. Despite their hardship, they are having fun, learning life and starting a family. Together, they are a team on equal economic footing. They face their challenges together. Together they survive. These experiences are the foundation of their relationship. True partnership is about love.

In every relationship, there is a balance of roles and powers. One of you may be more assertive than the other. Or more giving. Or more affectionate. This gentle balancing act we call love is like a see-saw.

Financial difficulties are never tender. Doubt, fear and anxiety can easily upset the balance of your harmonious relationship. You begin to trust each other less. Disappointment may curdle the cream of your affection. Fear poisons our faith in each other and in the abundance of the universe and the Earth's ability to provide.

Money is a go-to excuse for emotional struggles. Financial difficulties will flare our tempers and put us on the defensive. But money arguments may cover up deeper problems and feelings of shame or inadequacy. A financial fight is often hiding and confusing other issues.

In these days of financial chaos and joblessness, there are several steps a strong couple can take to survive the economy and protect their loving bond.

Perspective

A meditative mind can find clarity in clutter. Use your strength and objectivity to stand back and take a long view of your lives. Do not think of tomorrow. Look much further ahead. Remind each other of your goals and desires.

Your perspective will redefine your current hardship as a temporary setback. Your objectivity will allow you to discover a solution to your problems. Quietly, look inward.

Live and Love in the Present Moment

Together, speak honestly of the worries and rejoice in the power of living in the moment. Consciously identify the good things. Be grateful. Seek humor. Laughter will turn darkness into light. Touch each other, now and often.

Partnership

Renew the vows of your relationship weekly, or even daily. If you are married, use your wedding vows. If you are dating, let your significant other how much you are learning and liking about him or her. Repeated as an affirmation, you will find your strength and priority. Are you stronger together than apart?

Most often, money corrodes, rusting the steel of a union. Shakespeare wrote of it frequently. Money is a challenge to the strongest of relationships. Money is power and this can easily create an imbalance in the dynamic of a partnership.

The timing of a tsunami or a financial crisis is everything. A new couple, young in a relationship, may have more difficulty surviving a tragedy than two partners with time and a history. The challenge can be a beautiful thing. Dating is like shopping, trying a partner on for size. How your sweetie reacts to money can be a very important insight into their character and your future. Pay attention. Does he spend foolishly? Does he honor his hard work and save? Is he solvent? One's personal responsibility usually shows up in their wallet.

Today, financial worries are the norm, not the exception. Everyone is burdened. Jobs and retirement savings are in short supply. The world is uneasy. You need a new mantra: "Everything will be alright." You must seek the high road and examine your values so you can define what is really important.

In conclusion, we must admit that money itself is not evil. And, after all, why shouldn't your soulmate be wealthy?

Spot a Con in Love

Love is a wonderful thing. So is falling into it. Feelings can be very complicated and confusing. How do you know that your love muffin is all that he claims to be? Is he putting on a show or is he genuine? It takes a while to know for sure, so don't rush headlong into love with your eyes wide shut. As you navigate your love life, there are several tricks and secrets that you can use to stay happy, healthy and sane.

Many people fall in love with love and later learn that compatibility just isn't there. Maybe your fella is just interested in an ego boost; craving your attention, fun and sex. Perhaps he's even looking for you to pay his bills. Or what if he really does want love and domestic bliss, complete with a family of his own? How will you know? Everyone has a motive and a desire. You need to understand what drives him. To do that, you need to pay attention.

Emotions can be as stormy or as calm as the sea. It is hard enough to tell your own feelings, let alone guess at his. You recognize the ebb and flow of the tides: life is constantly changing. You want a relationship that is easy, happy and free of negativity. But life will always serve up something surprising. If you'd like to reduce your chances of bad surprises, you need to be on the lookout for warning signs.

Suddenly a Sweetheart

When a previously inconsiderate mate suddenly pours on the compliments, what do you think? He may finally be succumbing to your charms. He may finally understand how lucky he is and wishes to demonstrate his affection. Or, perhaps he's just buttering you up so you won't notice his bad behavior behind the scenes.

A New Look

Life is always changing and so are you. Your hairstyle, make-up and sensibilities can vary like the seasons. Sometimes it is fun to make a radical change to stir things up. What happens when your guy changes his hairstyle? Is he just trying something new or is he trying to impress another woman?
A relationship that is clouded with suspicion is not worth the trouble. Life is too beautiful for that. A working relationship honors privacy and assumes trust. Everyone needs to have their own space and independence within the union.

Digital Obsession

Social media has changed our notion of privacy. Mobile and digital devices are little diaries of everything we do. When your mate won't let you use his mobile phone in an emergency, it's time to pause and take an honest look at your relationship.

New Hobbies

As life changes, so do our interests. A new hobby may become a fascination. Take a class together or separately. Notice how his new interests change his behavior and show your curiosity and appreciation. Asking questions shows interest and gives him little room to hide out. Deep inside you know when to raise a red flag and when to believe his story about night school is true.
Time and Money

Friendships are the icing on the cake of life. It's great when your mate starts hanging out with an old friend again. Just be sure he's spending time with the old friend and not a new flame.
Intimacy is never free. Is the bank account suddenly a lot lighter than it should be? Income changes may signal something extracurricular. Or he just might be saving his money to buy you a diamond ring. In these days of a difficult economy, everyone is working harder than before. Your partner might be working overtime. Or making time with another.

Cheating requires significant effort. Messages have to be conveyed. Time and locations are discussed. Is your man covering the phone and speaking in hushed tones? When you ask who he's texting, does his answer feel true?

Of course, you'd like to be always joyous, light on your feet, dancing to the rhythms of life. Always think bright and find the good in everyone. Find the positive in all situations. You have no time for feelings of oppression or suspicion. Unfortunately, there are times when you must react on this level. Should you be suspicious? The answer to this difficult question can only be found through a very quiet conversation with yourself.

Only in stillness can we hear a faint voice. When you are in a period of confusion, the truth can be the hardest words to hear. Look inward. Find a peace and you will know what you must do.

If you do spot a con in love, always approach the dilemma caution and take the high road. Lying and cheating have no place in a loving relationship. You don't need to stay, but you do need to hold your head high, regardless of the direction you choose. Allow your partner the benefit of the doubt, when there is doubt. You may learn otherwise, but approach openly and lovingly. Love is a journey, a bumpy ride worth traveling. The trick is to pack carefully.

5 Tips to Be the Partner You Want to Find

Describe the partner you want to find and write it down. All of it. Finding a partner is like shopping for a home. You want to live in a structure that's strong, durable and operates properly. Perhaps you prefer a cozy abode that's large enough to hold you and keep all your stuff safe. Does it need to be a certain style or just basically pleasing to your eyes?

We all have that deep need to find the perfect home – that partner who accepts and loves you to your core. There are practical and esthetic considerations, of course. They all matter. Is this someone you want to live with and grow with? To discover new realms together? Dance and laugh? And are you waiting to meet that person to do all of these amazing things? If so, you could be waiting a lifetime.

If you aren't already living the life you want, or trying to, you aren't going to attract the partner you seek. Because your perfect mate may already be out there, enjoying life, and that's where you'll meet each other. Certainly not on your couch or at the nail salon!

Regardless of what you want to achieve in life, the way you you live your life is the most powerful indicator of what and whom you will attract. As always, actions speak louder than words. If your goal is a loving, harmonious and carefree relationship, be that for yourself. If you want a health-conscious partner, you'll need to be that too.

By becoming the partner you want to find, you will fall in love with you, make yourself irresistible to others, and be available in all the right places. Life is about living. Not waiting and hoping. Need a few ideas to get started? Here's how to get in on it:

1. Move your body.

You know the importance of exercise in a life well lived. Go for a long, slow walk or go bananas at the gym, but do get moving. You'll meet people who also respect their bodies and work towards health and longevity.

2. Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses.

Know your shortcomings. Appraise your assets. When you meet a guy, you are looking for a fit. If you like doing the family accounting, find a guy who likes maintaining the yard. You are building a team. Together, you become an actively functioning unit. The goal is a synergistic union of efforts to build a lifestyle of comforts and joy.
By knowing yourself well, on a practical no nonsense way, you can create the engine of the relationship that you want to have. If you know what parts you have, you will know what parts you will need to design the motor.

3. Connect with Nature.

Like inner peace? Joy? That certain feeling of belonging? Get out of the house and spend some time in nature. It's calling you, so take a hike. Plant a garden. Use your local park to sit and ponder; or draw and paint.

4. Laugh long, loud and often!

Yes, it's obvious. But sometimes you need a reminder, right? Many believe that laughter brings us closer to divine energy. You don't need a reason; just go for it. A wise woman once said, "If it isn't funny, keep looking. Eventually, you can find humor in any situation. And your survival may depend on it." Ask for a mate with a healthy sense of humor. Laughter is often the most important factor in the success of a marriage.

5. Be available!

a hopeful attitude, openness is the preferred lifestyle to one of frustration and anger. Which do you prefer? What defines your personality and perspective? Be open. See the good in all things. Your mate will too.
You receive what you give. By projecting vitality, you are making a statement of style and content. Your actions are a declaration of who you are, what you believe in and who you hope to become. You are already there.
You are your own best asset when it comes to finding love. Your intentions inform your actions and your actions send a very clear message. So write down your daily relationship affirmation: "This is what I want in life. This is who I am. This is what I have to offer. I am open to every possibility. I love and I will be loved."

Fall in Love with Yourself!

If one of your goals is to attract and maintain a meaningful, love relationship, work every day at falling in love with yourself. Be and believe you are a person with whom it would be difficult not to fall madly in love.

Falling in love with yourself starts with knowing yourself and feeling joyful in your daily life and about how you spend your time. Respect and honor your own beliefs and values and uphold them with integrity. Many people waste their time crafting an identity that is not a true reflection of who they are. Falling in love with yourself requires you to be truthful about and proud of who you really are, warts and all. When there is only one of you to love, your ideal mate will be drawn to you, too.

1. Check Yourself Out.

If you look at yourself in the mirror each day and admire your own reflection, someone else will too. Your style choices must be a rflection of what you like. Do not try to be a carbon copy of someone in a fashion magazine if you want to attract your soulmate. Remember that your outward appearance is intended to please the man of your dreams, not other women. The combination of wardrobe, makeup and accessories should emphasize to the world that there is only one you. Fall in love with the look you perfect and perfect love will follow.

2. Mind Your Manners.

How you conduct yourself in public is your greatest advertisement. Every greeting is like a billboard that tells the world what to expect from you. If you shrug and mumble when you say hello, the world may think you don't love yourself and therefore, you must not be worth loving. If you are pleasant and well-mannered, excited when people give you good news, are interested in what others have to say and how they feel, you are projecting a much more attractive and likeable you.
Grouchy women are simply not attractive, so act lovely, and attract love.

3. Connect with Culture.

You may see examples of glamorous women dating fabulously successful men, but the surface appearances often give way to lousy relationships. But there is value in being a person of the world, so tune into trends, art and culture and know that if you are impressed by knowledge and cultural insight, you can embody that value by increasing your knowledge and impress a partner simultaneously. Are you willing to take the time to refine your taste? You don't have to become a member of the elitist art world to appreciate the finer things in life, but you should always feel free find your niche and occupy it.
Rediscover your passion for the food, art and experiences that light you up. When you wear your lust for life on your sleeve, others will lust for you. A man wants to be loved and when he sees how much love you have for life, he will want to be in your world.

4. Find Your Friends.

Being single doesn't mean your alone, does it? One of the best parts of being single is having time to enjoy your friendships. Spending time with close friends, prepares you for a better friendship with your current or future partner. A loveable, radiant person doesn't look any particular way, but he or she would never wallow in self-pity, depressed about being "alone." After all, you're as alone as you feel. Having good friends in your life allows you to develop lots of interests and networks of compatible people and along the way, it lets you actually discover who you are. Once you do that, you will be in love with yourself and you will attract great partnership possibilities from which to choose.

5. Work Your Projects.

A passive life of little interaction will not get you closer to meeting a great relationship candidate. Why should it? If you are a poster child for boredom, you might attract a boring partner with only casual interest. Can you blame the great guys out there if they want a little more out of a woman? If you are working on a project, though, you have something to create and give the world. When you add value to the universe you are seen by everyone as more valuable.
If you fall in love with doing something and work to do it as interestingly as possible, you will develop a few things along the way. First, you will be involved in whatever community is also immersed in creating. Whether you're joining a choir, forming a punk band, learning to paint or taking a cake decorating class, meeting people along the way and sharing in their joy of life will add to your own joy.
Second, in creating things, you learn to take pride in what you can do. The experience of success builds on itself and pretty soon you have reason to be proud of yourself. And finally, the lessons you learn in making great objects or completing great tasks can be applied to your life.
Bettering your world makes you irresistible as a potential partner to someone else who has intentionally evolved into a fully formed man and entered the world looking for a woman who has already fallen in love with herself.

Appreciating the Love you Have

Life usually progresses in cycles or periods of time. The period of time when you are single can be frustrating, depressing and agonizing. Or, a break from partnership could be a time of great joy and discovery. It's up to you.

Loneliness is tricky, like a snake. It will wrap around you and squeeze hard. It makes the world seem empty and cruel; people may look ugly.

But no matter how hard it may be raining, it always stops eventually. This too, shall pass. You can always bet on Chance. If you are single today, you will be in a loving relationship in the future.

We seem to change in cycles or repetitions, like the spin of a moon or the turn of the day. Your life is a sequence of little epochs or eras. These periods of time are usually given a title. The Summer We Met. Two Years of Divorce. Four Years of School. Nine Months of Pregnancy.

Grass grows, taking its time. It has its own pace. You are single for now, but in time you will find love. How would you like to use the time? Will you be pining for the inevitable or enjoying the moment?

We are living in a wild age of chaos, economically, socially and politically. Everything seems to be happening so fast. It would be nice to have a partner right now, but you don't need to freak out.

One of the easiest ways to survive the world is focus on what you have. By focusing on the here and now; the good and true, you affirm the present. A signal will ripple outward to the one who also waits for you. By appreciating the things you love, you become a beacon of attraction.

Are you grateful for friends? Are you close to someone in your family? Is there a neighbor looking out for you? Maybe you have a pet dog, cat or an iguana you simply adore. What do you love about that little squirt? Define your feelings. Name each and every one and add these notations and observations to your journal. Place them in the forefront of your mind. Make a declaration out of the good feelings and you'll realign a bad mood. You may be single now, but there is much love in your life. Yes, there is!

What's there to love about your life? Is there something about your job that lights you up, perhaps? Look at inspiring art and fashion. What does nature mean to you? Find something beautiful, a tree or a building, and tell someone about it. What food do you want to taste right now? Describe all of the beautiful aspects about your religion or belief. Why do you love your favorite TV show? What's your favorite book and why?

This focus is creating energy. It summons attraction. These appreciations become your own advertising billboard on the highway to love.

You may need to find a special place to connect to these feelings of appreciation. The brain cannot be buzzing. Take a bubble bath or have a glass of something yummy to relax. Pamper yourself a little.

Here are four simple actions that help us appreciate the loves that we have in our lives. These efforts help us to shift our focus.

1. Pretend It's spring and Start Cleaning

When you dust, you will come in cotact with your sweetest memorobilia. A snow globe that reminds you of a great vacation or a silver picture frame that holds the image of a loved one. It is so easy miss these things in your busy day-to-day routine. When we clean, we have to dust each item individually. Cleaning demands that you move your body. And, oh yes, your home will be clean when you're done. Bonus!

2. Take a Vacation

Pack your bags and go to Hawaii for two weeks. Or, make a sandwich and take yourself to a beautiful picnic spot for an hour. Either way, it is a vacation, an action that heightens appreciation.

3. Create your own Ceremony of Appreciation

Burn sage. Light candles. You are the guru. Design a ritual. Then, perform it. Stop and breathe in the incense. Let the sensations of your own gratitude touch you.

4. Pay it forward

Think of something nice. It could be an observation or an action. Then share it with someone else.
The single life may sometimes suck. But it doesn't have to. Your colorful complaints may be good for a little entertainment, but negativity breeds more of the same. Just be grateful for this time. Your life is still moving ahead, single or not. Make it fun. You are now free to really stop and listen. Appreciate the many loves currently in your life. There are many. All you have to do is reopen your eyes!